Validity of self doubt

So it occurs to me today that the last two blogs are very positive. I love them. I have just re-read them and they make perfect sense. It's just I don't feel them today. The flip side of the coin, the difficult days. The times when you feel just a little bit sad and you need a hug. It's all very simplistic.


Today I feel less confident in myself, I feel I am questioning myself a lot. I don't enjoy it but I feel it is actually necessary. I read those previous blogs back and the peppiness is irritating if you are having a bad day. Made me laugh at myself. However, also gives me hope because those heady days where positivty rules are blindlingly sunny even when it's pouring with rain :D


Today I want a gent to say to me "May I have this dance?" or someone to give me free fudge on a street corner, just to renew my sense of magic in the World.


So the point of the blog today is to ask the question "How valid are the bad days?". I would say my bad days keep me grounded and make me realise that maybe I need to keep an understanding of the journey that I am on and that I am only touching on knowledge of self, I don't have all the answers.


My understanding of my own emotions is something I am extremely proud of but it does have it's limitations. The bad day is there to remind me of these limitations. After all we as humans use 100% of the function of our brains but we don't all realise the true potential of what our brains can do. It makes me wonder if tomorrow I could learn to bend spoons if I concentrate really hard. Hey I could find out what material they use to print the dollar bills in Aus on and train my body to become a magnetic force for that material......then I might take a trip to Thailand to meet another like-minded individual ;) or maybe go and see my family in the UK.


Just discussing what our brains can do is already making me feel better. Self-doubt makes me stop my mind a little. It makes me freeze in time like if I step this way or that I might make the wrong decision so it is best to stay perfectly still. The un-moving statue of confusion. Thinking of the bigger picture, standing outside and staring at the sky or thinking about the Big Bang Theory (no, not the TV programme, thanks America) makes me feel a whole lot better. So I guess the message I can take from my own mind's wanderings today is that if I can remain grounded even in the face of a good day, I may not get so many bad ones? Hmmm, I don't know if that's accurate. That might stop me dreaming so much and Yoda knows I do love a good dream :)


One thing is for sure, there is construction of self in self doubt. It's a hurdle you can overcome and if we all knew everything all the time the World would be a very boring place ;)