Love is beautiful even at the end

There was a glass in the sink, it was a shabby kitchen and my dogs were unhappy. There was this unsettled air about this place. We lived right under the flight path and when planes went overhead it knocked the TV signal out and made my windows rattle...

He was out again....up the pub...it was hurting all the time..."Please God make me a bird so I can fly far far far away from here".

It wasn't always like this. We had a fairytale, we lounged on the floor collapsed in heaps kissing til we couldn't breathe, stared at each other like no one else was alive in the world, amazingly I kept breathing when it went away. From a time where we sprinted home from all corners of the beautiful city to be inside each others arms to now....we barely met in the hall.

I left one day. I slashed my finger (my left index) open on the glass in the sink, the unhappy dogs attending to me and otherwise alone in the cold house, I should say coldhouse (like poorhouse, one word). I rang him and he was concerned through his haze of not loving me anymore but he didn't come, then I left because if someone doesn't come when you need stitches it's time to go isn't it...

So I left the coldhouse, took my three doting creatures, they need recognition now hey :) This is them:

I flew directly into the sun and I have this rising feeling in my tummy, it goes up through my chest and rib cage, makes my arms warm, into my neck, turns my ears a cherry colour and reaches my mouth where I can feel a smile happen involuntarily (aren't they the best most  happy smiles?) when I go back and think about the day I flew away.

Then most sensationally and most importantly the creatures were sublimely happy, flight, light and peace.

There's a soundtrack to everyone's lives, we go from A to B listening to track after track, walking through Coles to Carly Rae Jepson or dancing unco to One Direction pumping from a 7/11 at 2am in the city ( I think she may have had too much Vino la').

Many songs get me and I get them, when that happens there's like this chemical explosion in my inner workings, I attach meaning and I shout along to chorus's in my car with my window fully open, blind exhibitionist I really truly am. Painful memories but triumphant outcomes. Wondering why someone isn't hurting in their heart as much as you are. You can lie in a bed 20 miles away but your arm is on their pillow and you can hear their breathing in your dreams.

The first night time of my flight to the calm that is now my world I lay in the dark watching him breathing, his chest moving up and down and I stroked his head when he had yet another nightmare...I talked to him as usual telling him everything was peachy and he was safe and loved....and then I woke up alone with my three creatures snoring at my feet.

My many songs in my life soundtrack are entirely necessary to my happiness and brain balance. I hope nobody ever takes my ears away...

I will be listening to songs in my treehouse between or whilst blogging, I'll dance around the kitchen making chai and honey and hearty vege soup and I'll remember where I came from and what has led me to the stunning place I'm at now - Proud, loved, emotionally aware, sensitive and full of heart. Songs I love bring all of those things in and makes it easy to sway in the sunshine.

There's so much life to gain from going through pain in your heart. If you can bear it you can see the soul attached to that almost breaking feeling.

Because love is beautiful even at the end.